We Won't Fall Down
by BookishWriter21
Summary: Hamato Yoshi now goes by the name of Splinter, and has been given the task of raising his four adoptive sons. It's been six years, and he still struggles as a father after the death of her daughter, and as he finds out that he won't be able to keep them away from the harsh truths of living, he makes a decision that'll light their path to what they'll become as life passes them by.


When he was younger and human, Hamato Yoshi never had the worries of those who weren't promised a meal every day. He lived with his father Hamato Yūta and brother Oroku Saki when they were little boys, and grew up together as members of the Hamato Clan. Spending his years training and living a well-content life, he never thought that one day, he would be in the New York City sewers, hunger gnawing at his stomach. Instead of his usual strong, proud posture, his gaunt figure would amble through the tunnels, horrified at his new mutated state.

That was barely six years ago.

Today, he still lived in the sewers, but it was no longer a gruesome task of survival, and was now his home. He was no longer human, but he still had his humanity. His wife and daughter were dead, but he had his four adoptive sons, which he now called his family. He was a father.

Hamato Yoshi, who now went with the name Splinter, had his jade green cane in his left hand. Him and his sons were walking through the sewer tunnels, exploring their surroundings instead of being stuck in the lair all day. Not that there was much to discover. Just waste, dirty water, and the not uncommon rat droppings. Some occasionally being larger, indicating that it didn't come from a rodent, but from their friendly neighbors above them.

For him, it was lethargic, but for the turtles, it was adventure. Splinter watched as his four sons ran along the grey stone walls, playing games of tag and hide and seek. He told them to stay close where he could see them, but they still tried to go as far as possible.

Their stroll through the sewers was more of a way for the toddlers to have a larger feeling of freedom and exploration. So far, their only knowledge of the outside world were the occasional honks from cars and furious drivers, or loud thunder during the rainy nights.

Laughter echoed against the walls, and the turtles kept playing. Leonardo was running away from Donatello, while Michelangelo was merely chasing after them, not the one hunting or being hunted. Raphael on the other hand, was holding back with his arms crossed, looking like a little kid who's just been pushed out of the game.

It was abnormal behavior for them, acting the way a human boy would. When Splinter had first heard them speak, he was shocked. To think that these animals could talk, and that originally they were going to be his pets. Now they had grown much closer than he could've ever imagined because of their small hint of humanity in all of them. Including himself.

Splinter regarded his angry son. "What is the matter Raphael? Why aren't you playing with your brothers?"

The little turtle grumbled, and spoke in a low voice. "I don't want to play."

"Why not?"

"Because I keep getting tagged by Donnie, and it's not fair because he's taller and has longer legs." He gave a quick glare to his older brother. "And Leo keeps making the decisions, and I'm always it."

Splinter closed his eyes and mused over the subject. It was simple, really. Only children would have the silly worries of unfairness during a game. That was the gift of being young and innocent. Oncoming years is when the burdens start to settle on the shoulders.

He also thought of Leonardo and Raphael. The latter would always try to show as much power as Leonardo has. Being the second oldest, was like being second in everything. Just one away from being the best, is how some would see it. It's frustrating for his son, and Splinter was noticing it. He's seen it before, a long time ago, with someone he used to care for. Of course, not that Splinter would know how that felt like, for he had always been first as well.

Seeing Raphael waiting for a response, he said "Nobody said life will be fair. If you isolate yourself from others, no good will come out of it." He nodded towards the others "Go ahead and try to join in, my son."

The little turtle nodded, and ambled his way towards his brothers, grumbling.

Splinter sighed, and rummaged through his thoughts. Memories of him and Oroku Saki flooded his mind, and he remembered of Saki's jealousy for Tang Shen. Hamato Yoshi was going to become the leader of the clan, and take Hamato Yūta's place. Saki was envious of him over his advantages, and for always getting the better share. Despite of that, they still shared precious moments together. They would play outside, and admire the Osaka Castle from afar. Dreams of becoming fearless warriors, and of sticking together, was overshadowed by the dark ending that they both had.

Buddhist legends and stories came back to him, and recalled the tale of Okuninushi and the rabbit. Okuninushi had many brothers, who all wanted to marry the same princess. As they all traveled to ask for the princess' hand in marriage, Okuninushi was trailing behind carrying their equipment, being forgotten. His other brothers encountered a poor rabbit in pain with no fur, in which it had been pulled off by alligators. The brothers told it to wash itself in salt water, and then to let the wind dry it. It only made the pain worsen, and the rabbit cried while the brothers walked away laughing. Later, Okuninushi found the rabbit suffering, and was told what happened to it because of the cruelty of his brothers. Okuninushi told the rabbit to wash in freshwater, and roll around in the soft grass. The fur grew back, and the rabbit told Okuninushi that he will be the one to marry the princess. Once him and his brothers arrived, the princess chose to marry Okuninushi. The brothers were furious, and even tried to kill their brother, but was saved by their mother.

It was that last part that struck Splinter the most, how jealousy could drive such horrible intentions, even towards people they love.

Splinter glanced at Raphael, and noticed him still hanging back. He was still young, and couldn't possibly do any real damage. But everything starts at the beginning, during the early years of life. It was harsh for Splinter to be thinking such thoughts towards his son, but he loved him too much. He wouldn't bear to watch him grow into another Oroku Saki, and would do his best to prevent him from being blinded by rage. Unfortunately, Raphael didn't really open up that often, and it was difficult for him to express any emotions before being called a "softie" by his brothers. Only he would hold back tears and claim he's fine from bleeding from a broken shell. He's strong for a little one.

It's times like these when he wished Tang Shen was here, when she could be the mother she once was. Splinter was too stern and serious, and wasn't one much of comfort, especially after losing his newborn daughter Miwa. He wasn't one to identify others by gender roles, but only women tend to have the softer, and more caring heart.

There was a distant screech of tires against pavement from up above, and his large ears twitched at the sound. The turtles didn't pay much attention as there was a yowl, glass shattering, a little boy crying out, and a few seconds later, a splash not too far away.

The other three turtles were so lost in their world to pay any mind over the sound, but Raphael lifted his head up, and looked around. While his brothers were up ahead, he neared the closest sewer tunnel and peered his head in.

Splinter watched as Raphael slowly walked inside, but he didn't follow. He just stood at the entrance, so he could watch him and his other sons farther down the tunnel they were already in.

It was dark, but bright enough to see where they were. Splinter saw Raphael bend over something, and reached out to submerge his hands in the sewage water. The little turtle pulled something small and dark, and Splinter hoped it wasn't something he'd regret for letting his son over there. Raphael's shell was to him, so he couldn't see what he held. As the turtle started to walk back, Splinter looked to see what it was, and was shocked to find another turtle in his arms.

Huh, how ironic. The scene was so funny, that Splinter had to restrain himself from chuckling, but he smiled. "What have you found Raphael?"

Emerald green eyes looked up at him, and then at the small creature in his arms. "I think I found a turtle."

Little Mikey's attention was pulled away from the game, and at the creature near his older brother. He ran towards Raphael, and stood on his toes to get a closer look. "Ooh! Another turtle? Can I see?" He asked excitedly, bouncing a little.

"No." Raphael said, and pulled the turtle closer to his plastron. "I found him first."

"Pleeeeeease?"

"No, leave me alone Mikey!"

Splinter watched as Michelangelo pouted a little, then ran off towards his other brothers. Splinter winced as he called out "Raph has a turtle!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes he does!"

Raphael ran to stand beside Splinter, and glared as the others came back. Donatello scrutinized the turtle briefly before saying "That's a tortoise."

"What's the difference?" Mikey asked.

"Well...I think tortoises are larger?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

Leonardo glanced at everyone, and his eyes landed on the spiky tortoise. "Where did you find him?" He asked, and the first time he spoke.

"It fell in the water." Raphael replied, and worriedly patted its little head. "It seems ok though."

"How did it fall from the surface though?" Donatello asked. "Tortoises don't just walk around in a city, and no one just drops their pet tortoise into the sewers."

Splinter coughed awkwardly, and didn't mention how they were too dropped and ended up in so called place. He looked at Raphael, who was mostly calm at the moment. The tortoise was clutched tightly between his arms, and Splinter smiled. It was funny to see his rowdy son holding on to something like as if it were a plushie.

He began to think back on the little boy's yell he heard earlier, and thought on what Donatello said. No one just 'drops' their pet in the sewers, unless it was something similar to what happened to him. Something scared the little boy, and was now mourning the loss of his little friend.

Splinter glanced one last time at the tortoise, and thought of the rabbit. He chuckled, and regarded his sons. "It is getting late; we must return home." When he noticed Raphael's sad look, he added "You may bring it for a while, but we must return it after, understood?"

All four heads nodded, and began heading back down the tunnel. Maybe the "rabbit" will help his son feel better, only in a different form. A talking rabbit would sound ridiculous, even for a place with human hybrid turtles. Of course, it is best not to assume something won't happen, than to believe that something cannot go wrong.

Every child enters the world full of innocence, and so naive. Once his four sons would've never imagined that their master could one day expire, or that a thing such as death was possible, but fortunately for them, it wasn't their father from where they had to learn that lesson from.

" _Dad!"_

His large ears perked up, and got up from his meditative state to rush towards the sound of his despaired son. Once the entrance to the turtles' room was before him, he saw Raphael on his knees sobbing, with a large bucket filled with water beside him, and some of it had spilled. Besides Raphael's knees, was the tortoise, lying still and immobile.

Splinter knelt beside him, and saw his trembling form as his shaken voice said "H-he...he's not moving…"

The others had come back from the living room, peeking their little heads in.

It has been about a month since Raphael brought the tortoise in, and he has shown enjoyment in taking care of it. While Raphael kept crying, Splinter wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and looked around the room. There in the corner of a mattress, were five white eggs bundled up in the baby blue blanket they shared.

Splinter's eyes widened, and the dead tortoise was now a she, and not a male as they had thought it to be. It was difficult to tell the difference for one who did not know much about these reptiles.

"Raphael," He spoke softly, making sure not to worsen the mood. "What happened?"

Sniffles and little hiccups made his response barely audible, but Splinter caught on. "He-she, she had laid some eggs, but she was acting all sick and slow." A new wave of tears started to form. "I put her in water to make her feel better, because tu-tortoises like to be in water...b-but...she's not moving after I took her out…"

Splinter said nothing, and shut his eyes tight. He reached out to pick up the poor animal, and placed it behind him to get the scary sight out of his son's view. "How long ago was it when she laid the eggs?"

"Like ten minutes ago." Raphael replied. "Then I just went to get a bucket with water to put her in it." He sniffed loudly. "Did I...is it my fault that she...?"

The turtle struggled to put the words and phrase together, not bearing to say the truth of what he had just done. Splinter held him tightly, not wanting the hear the words himself, coming from a small child. He cursed at himself for thinking that it was a good idea to let him raise the tortoise after a few days of keeping it. It's original purpose of it being a way for his second oldest son to relieve himself of any troubles had backfired, now causing him more pain than what he had begun with. Splinter spoke "You did not know Raphael; you couldn't have known better. We need to take her to a proper place where she can rest..."

"But I killed her." Raphael said, not unkindly. Splinter flinched a bit at the words, and did not get the chance to reply when his son continued. "She drowned because I put her in there, so she couldn't breathe. I killed her, and it's all my fault." He began to hyperventilate, and his words were rushed. "I killed her Dad, but I didn't mean it! I'm a bad person, because I _killed_ her." His green eyes met his. "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Splinter, I'm wo-"

"Raphael." Splinter's voice stopped him, and his son froze. He only had one of his arms around his shell, but they held each other's gazes before he let his son sob into his shoulder, holding him in his arms tightly. Splinter was large compared to the little form of Raphael, but he filled any gaps of emptiness with a warm embrace, and shut his eyes tight. Baby cries of Miwa flashed through his mind, and he had to hold back any tears of his own, but he did not let go of Raphael, making sure not to crush him. The other turtles decided not to interrupt. Michelangelo looked like he wanted to cry as well, but Leonardo held his brothers back.

They did not move as sobs filled the room, and Splinter spoke in a hushed and reassuring tone. "It is not your fault my son," _It's mine._ "We believe you would've never purposely hurt her. You had no cruel intentions, you only wanted to help, and this does not make you a bad person. If you learn from your mistakes, this will only make you wiser for the next time."

Raphael's cries had softened and quieted to little hiccups, and he nodded in reply to his father's words.

"Now let's get ready to end the day, alright?"

"Ok."

Everything after that was a blur. While Splinter threw the water and dead tortoise away, he glanced at the five eggs, and sighed. He picked them up, one by one, and took them to the kitchen. Splinter may not know much about incubation, but he knew that a certain temperature must be critical. It would've been a much easier solution to just throw them out, but his son did not need any more deaths caused by his hands. He chuckled unkindly at himself, he was already struggling in raising four kids of his own, and he can't even make sure if the eggs were properly in place.

Splinter did his work, and made sure the eggs were safe before he left the kitchen. He wasn't even sure if he had done anything correctly, all he could do was hope.

It was later found out that tortoises can't swim, thus confirming Raphael's previous claim that it had died because he had drowned it. Splinter shut his eyes while he mused over the subject. It may be selfish, but he would've preferred if the death was caused by giving birth. Although that could also play a factor on why the tortoise died, lacking any proper environment for it to lay her eggs.

As he made his way to his room, he passed by the entrance to where his sons were sleeping. He quietly peeked his head in, and saw them all asleep. Raphael had slightly pushed himself away from the others, clutching the mattress tightly.

"Goodnight my sons." He whispered, and slowly left. He wanted to go back and make sure they were alright, but something kept tugging him away from them. A sense of failure, failure at being a father.

The warmth of his mattress greeted him, but it did nothing to soothe him. Raphael's words kept repeating themselves over and over again like a broken disk, not letting him sleep.

" _I killed him. I'm a bad person.'_

Too young. He was too young to have those horrid thoughts in his mind. Every child learns eventually, but not with only six years of their lives, but even those don't end up landing the blame on themselves, the blame of murder.

He thought back to that day in the sewer tunnels, when he worried over his son's anger and jealousy, and feared on how it could be corrupted if not controlled. But Splinter was wrong about his son. Guilt spread through him, and remembered his brother Saki; how he had murdered and killed without hesitation as he swung his weapons at enemies and loved ones.

But not his son. Raphael cried, and begged for forgiveness over harm he did not intend to cause. Yes, they were both angry, and both showed jealousy towards the one superior to them, but Raphael was different. He can show mourning and lamentation, and even if in his eyes he sees it as a weakness, it can become a mental strength above his physical one in the long run. He is nowhere near the beliefs of Oroku Saki, and that calmed Splinter's rapidly pulsing heart.

Of course, the turtles cannot stay down here forever, and today proved that he will not be able to keep them sweet and safe forever, even in the depths of the city.

As he lay in bed and closed his eyes, he decided that he would become their master, and teach them to defend one another. He will guide them, and show them the art of ninjutsu. It is far from now to even think about, and will take years to come, but there will come a day for when he has to go too, and they will be the only four left.

He will be their master, their sensei, and of course, their father, and he will do his best, for he is the only one they can look up to.

Bitter sweetness filled his dreams, but there were nightmares as well. He heard his sons cry out to him, but it was all forgotten when he woke up one morning, and saw Raphael holding on to another tortoise, his eyes wide in fascination. Whether that tortoise will bring him more pain or not, the epiphany of what has happened before him began to unfold. When there is death, there is also birth of life, a parallel to the loss of his daughter and wife, four lives were created. It will continue in that loop until the sun stops burning, and when the last breath is breathed.

My sons, my family, and my friends. We love and fight, and unlike a poor mother, or brother victim of envious kin, they will not drown in hate, and they will not go down alone.

 _END SCENE_


End file.
